Question for you guys, though. I have my next IC appointment on Wednesday and want to talk to her about my values and the question that has come up here a bunch, whether or not I value myself. Any other suggestions? We've talked somewhat about my attitude towards D, which I can address again with her as well.
I agree with Ginger about boundaries. That would be my suggestion to discuss above all else as they are a form of self care and help enforce/protect/figure out your core values.
Also - how about a plan or a list of benchmarks that your H has show/follow?
M(f): 38 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.