Originally Posted by tom_h
Originally Posted by Steve85
Originally Posted by tom_h

Originally Posted by Vapo
Prior to 2 years of single life do not even attempt to date, you have to learn to be content and happy to be by yourself.
We're going to have to talk about this one more. A lot more.


Why? Vapo's advice is straight-forward, and it is the same advice I gave you in the response to your post in my own thread.

Here is the thing tom_h, it is IMPOSSIBLE....ABSOLUTELY NOT EVEN A POSSIBILITY, to be happy and fulfilled as one half of a couple if you cannot be happy by yourself. This is the mistake so many married people made, thinking marriage and life-long commitment to another individual will fulfill them and make them happy, even though they were not happy and fulfilled as an individual themselves. What Vapo is saying that unless you take the time to realize that your own happiness is your own responsibility, you will be setting yourself up for another D with a new person in the future.
C'mon, Steve, I appreciate the comment, but you realize that lecturing someone into submission is not a way to teach! Let a dialogue happen, and then I maybe come around. But firm, table pounding from two who "know better" is not a way to convince anyone, let alone a techie, to believe in something.

And can you tell me how to find replies to my comments on other threads? Most forums have an index of them, but I can't seem to find it here at DB.


I certainly was not lecturing you into submission. Nor was I table pounding. But one thing I know for sure is there is no 100% fault in any of these situations. There is always things both spouses did or didn't do to get themselves to the point they are at. So yes, you have to learn to be happy by yourself if you are ever to be happy as 1/2 of a couple. It is your life. You can always decide you know better and ignore the wisdom Vapo gave you. But your chances of success in a new R without working on yourself first are very low.

Here is a link to all of your posts.

https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=userposts&id=41670

And here is a link to my response to you in my thread:

https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2903719#Post2903719


M(51), W(52),D(16)
M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018