Originally Posted by may22
I know this is going to sound like I'm defending him, or defending my inability to make a decision, but I do want to point out that kicking someone out who is saying he doesn't want to leave is a lot harder than not taking someone back who has already left. At least, it feels like that to me, from where I sit today. What is the difference, really, in letting him prove through his actions with him in the house rather than once we are separated and traumatized the children? MWD in her books consistently say in-house separation is better than leaving, as long as you can handle it. The DB coach I had said the same thing.

It is hard. And the difference is that you will get to heal properly. Without him around you donít constantly get all this bs from him and have it mess with your head. Stop worrying about the children. They will be fine and you know it. You need to put yourself first. Everything else I agree with the posters above. Detachment is when you donít let his crap upset you. But self love is knowing that you need to walk away from his crap. I know this is all incredibly hard. But please take your time to think it through. What exactly is left of this man that you feel like you still need to hold on to him?

BD: Sep 2019
H moved out: Oct 2019
3 kids under 12