Day four of recovery from my surgery. My sister is still here. I donít know what they were talking about in their pre-op info about needing someone around for a couple of days. Whoever decided that hasnít had this surgery...lol. Thereís no way I could go to the store to get groceries or drive my car. I can get out of bed and off the couch but Iím not allowed to stand up straight so my back can only handle a few laps around the house and I canít stand for very long. Kids have been with XH all week but are coming back tomorrow. My sister has offered to drive them to school until I can. I told my work I would be back on the 22nd but I think Iím going to move that to the 29th. My post op with my surgeon isnít until the 24th and I need a note from him before I can go back anyway. Wednesday is my appointment with the his nurse...hoping my drains can come out as they are pretty bulky.

TDH has been in touch every day. Itís hard talking to him though cause he is really funny and it hurts a lot to laugh. He called me last night from his back yard and his son wandered out after weíd been talking for a few minutes. He wanted to say hi so TDH handed him the phone and we had a nice little chat. Told me he didnít think his dad is as funny as I think he is and that he also hopes he can meet me soon. Great phone manners for an 11 year old.

So I just had a text conversation with XH. Apparently OWs transplant will come with a 12 hour heads up and then he says he needs to be in Van for a solid month. Ummm...that sounds a lot like me having the kids full time, I pointed out, and we havenít had one conversation about it. Really? He swears he talked to me about it. Um...not one word. And then after that month, he will be returning to work and going over there EVERY weekend for ??? Ummm...again...no conversation with me about it. Just an assumption that, because this is front and centre in his life, it will be front and centre in mine. Now donít get me wrong...of course I will take our kids when he needs me to...but is it too much to ask that we have a conversation and he at least asks me for my cooperation instead of just assuming it?... like... Gee...DV... I know that I basically abandoned you to single parent for four years but OW needs me so that trumps everything...including our legal agreement that says I will look after our kids 50% of the time. Does it make me an awful person that I find this irritating? I mean, if the shoe were on the other foot, I would never assume he would be there for me. Not in a million years. I would have sat down with him as soon as I knew I would need his help, told him what was going on and asked him for what I needed and then tried to figure out a Plan B for times that he couldnít help me out. IDK...am I wrong?


Me 51
H 46
B/G Twins 11
SD19
Legal SA - January 2019
Divorce filed - June 2019
Divorce final - November 2019

Together 14 years
Married 12 years
BD1 - May 2014
BD2 - September 14, 2018