For what it’s worth? It’s worth absolutely nothing. Ready for the Universal Bullsh!t Translator?

Blameshifting: “incorporate the things you prevented him from doing”, “coerce him into staying”

Minimising responsibility: “it’s an addiction”, “this is your choice (to D)” (subtext: and harm the children)

Self-pity: “tearing him apart for years and eating at his soul”

Entitlement: “OW is someone he’ll think about occasionally with fondness” - how dare he say this to you?

Hedging: “part of his decision is motivated by fear”, “will do everything he can”, “wants to work towards it”

Self-preservation: “realised he doesn’t want the new apartment” (subtext: doesn’t want to give up creature comforts, doesn’t want to pay alimony/child support, doesn’t want to lose the nice house you share)

Manipulation: “I love you and never stopped loving you” - shades of “he hits me because he loves me”

Image management: “it’s best for the children”, “don’t want to be a selfish liar”, the change of tune after his family applied pressure

WEAK. This is just fear of consequences again. He doesn’t want to be a selfish liar? Well, he is one. People don’t change their character at 40 years old. This dude is fully baked and sorry to say, he’s a sh!t biscuit. He’ll always be a liar and a cheater. An alcoholic is an alcoholic regardless if they ever have another drink.

You can’t have love without respect. He has consistently demonstrated a profound lack of respect for you. Can you see the jabs of disrespect peppered throughout this grand declaration? You seem to have gotten to the point where you no longer respect him. Can you ever respect him again after all of this weak behaviour?


W32
X30
S2

June 2019 | Runaway husband
May 2020 | Legal separation
Xmas 2020 | Divorce hearing