I had dinner with my cousin tonight. She’s unhappily married and has been engaged in an affair with another married man.

She told me tonight that she doesn’t envy me and that if she had to date again, she would hate it. She basically said she would rather be in her unhappy marriage rather than to be in my position.

She didn’t mean it in a mean way. But OUCH. And the sad thing , she doesn’t even know how lonely I am . The only place I express those feelings is here. Everyone actually still sees me as happy go lucky ginger . No one knows how I truly feel.

Sad. Living with someone you argue with every day and aren’t attracted to is more desirable
Than living my life.