Originally Posted by DejaVu6

RE: TDH and the speed of our relationship. I guess on one hand it is fast given how much we have seen each other physically but the emotional/intellectual part has been developing over a couple months so when we did meet in person, it really did not feel like it was for the first time. IDK...can’t really explain it but every communication I have with him just gets better and better and I know his feelings for me are genuine. He texted me at 4 a.m. on Monday (he knows my phone is on silence) that he was thinking about me and when I asked him what he was doing up that late, he said he couldn’t sleep cause he was worried about me having surgery.

Anyway...pain pills are kicking in so have to sign off. Will write more later. (((HUGS)))

I was in that place with Sparky, too, when we first met where we talked for awhile before meeting in person, so I do get that aspect of what you went through. We met online and chatted a bit that way and had originally planned to meet face to face relatively quickly just in the interest of feeling things out to see what happened and either move forward or move on. Then life happened and his dad got sick and despite being ill, died rather unexpectedly, and Sparky had to deal with all of that because he is an only child and his mother just lost it at that point. So, we pushed our meeting back and would just talk through text or on the phone. So, originally, we planned to meet in person right at a month after we first started talking, but it got pushed back another nearly 2 months, so we did feel like we'd known each other for awhile when we met in person. Where I differ from you (and it is ok that we differ because we are different people) is that once we met, I still proceeded very slowly and that was mainly because of the big XH-sized hole that was left in my ability to trust. Sparky had to pay for that a bit and we still talk about that occasionally as I try to make amends for that. It was not his fault but I still held him at arm's length. And, I'm super fortunate that he liked me enough to stay at arm's length and let me guide the pace. But, like I said in response to bttrfly's post, those were my choices and not likely the same ones others would make in my shoes, so it is what it is. We all see and do things differently based on what we have lived through in the past.

Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)