sorry you're here.

She has hardly spoken to me since the filing 11 months ago last September. We have seen each other in person a mere three times. She has refused to talk, which hurts even more, because the "why" still makes me weep. I have a feeling that she is not talking because she doesn't want to take a chance that her will to divorce will weaken. For years she said we didn't communicate very well, yet after suffering in silence for years, she is committing that very same offense -- not talking.

I would let go of this. It is out of your control which means it should be indifferent to you. Use this type of judgment in all areas of your life.

We are (were) a Christian couple. The Bible says that marriage is made in heaven and we are commanded to try and make it work. The bible also says that if you are in conflict with another person of faith, and feel you can't communicate with that individual, you must find a third party who will help intercede. She did none of this.

Lots of LBS's turn to religion after BD. It smells of manipulation. People of faith forego third party help every day, outside of marriage even. But again, this is out of your control...

Did she commit to forever and go back on that commitment? Yes. Accept it. Move on and focus on how you can make your life great again.

So I'm trying to pick up the pieces. How do you take apart a home that has so many wonderful family memories? How do you subdivide possessions in a house that is the only home our three children even knew? How do you accept what is the ultimate rejection of you -- a woman who looks you in the eye (via an attorney) and says, "after knowing you for 34 years, 32 as your wife, I don't love you anymore and do not want to spend another hour with you"? How do you accept the death sentence administered to your marriage?

You do it as a person in control of oneself, with as much dignity and respect as possible. You accept her decision, give her the gift of love and listen to her. You also realize that it is not a death sentence. It can be a ticket to a growth, fun, and freedom - should you decide it.

Why are you unable to sleep, in your opinion?

H 34
W 29
BD 3/12/18
Divorce Busted Spring 19

It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.