Work was not painful these past 2 days and it was slow. I worked with one of my fav people at my other job, so it made it easier. And time and a half! Woot woot!

My poison ivy is getting much better. Iím still pretty discolored but itís feeling so much better.

I got invited 2 places this weekend and I was unable to go because of work, but Iím sad, because I am desperate for the adult socialization.

D starts virtual school tomorrow. Sheís excited and she set up her desk so nicely. I canít believe itís her 8th grade year and then she will be off to high school. Time certainly flies. She is really a wonderful kid and though kind of a spiked unappreciative brat lately. Partially my fault. But overall sheís an incredible kid, she just happens to be becoming a very hormonal teenager. I honestly donít know whatís going to happen custody wise. She didnít take the extra day this week. And with school it might be more difficult for her to take. But I will support her if she wants to go to her dads for the extra day.

I have to admit. Iím ready for a little more normal in my life. I want to get my foot fixed to I can go back to the gym now that itís open . Iím setting up an apt this week to schedule my procedure. Itís a minor one. It will be worth it. I donít feel all that healthy. I mean, I am generally a healthy person. I almost never get sick. But I get these weird things that happen to me. And I am used to being pretty active and I havenít been. I donít think my body likes it. I need to figure something out. I donít like how I feel. I need to find a way to socialize more. I have some work events coming up which might help.

There are literally so many things I want to do but have no one to do then with. I wish there was an app for an activity buddy. Sure, I can do some myself, but they arenít nearly as fun by myself.

I admit, I often thing of M and me. Tomorrow would have been our first date anniversary. I still think ďwhat if I didnít push so much for certain things?Ē Iím still missing some closure there. The what could have been a seem so great. But they are simply what could have beens.

What actually is right now is a bit isolating. And kind of sad. But Iím hoping to find a way to make it better. I do really try. I want to feel better on physically and mentally and I think Iím just overwhelmed and donít know where to start.

My tough time of the year is coming. And all the other times are tough, but this is a seriously tough time of year to be solo. But I can do it.

I also realize I have to stop acting like such a martyr with my ex and that whole situation. I am not too good. 8 am probably just too week. Iím going to start working on that too