LOL...I love you guys. Like Andrew, Iíll keep coming back here to let you know how Iím doing even if I do get hammered. If TDH and I ever live together, that is years down the road. IDK...I get the risks. I do. Iím now almost through an entire weekend with TDH.
We spent Friday night out at the lake with my friends and succumbed to pressure to stay the night. They all liked TDH a lot. He fit right in and stayed up talking with the night owls long after my sister and I had gone to bed. Yesterday we spent mostly hanging out at my place. Had a number of spirited conversations about some topics that we eventually agreed to disagree on. I like that we can do that and still laugh. We also talked about the LDRs and what it takes, we think, to make it work. Neither of us have been in a LDR so it is a bit daunting but we think if we see each other for a weekend once or twice a month and keep talking regularly, it can work. Time will tell, I guess.
Dawn...thank you for your thoughts on my kids. I know them extremely well. We are very close and they tell me what they think about things...usually without me asking. And, on the off chance they donít tell me something, I know they would definitely tell SD20 who would immediately come running to me. TBH...they probably wonít see a whole lot of TDH since likely the weekends he would come here are the weekends I donít have the kids and vice versa. From their perspective, they met their momís friend and can now put a face to a name. They liked him a lot so they wonít give it much more thought. If they didnít like him, that would probably be a different story. But they did so they are satisfied their mom is okay dating this person and thatís about it. And like I said...I dated Jack for a year and they barely noticed his absence after we broke up. I am not worried at all.
I feel like I know TDH reasonably well...at least well enough to risk having him stay with me for a weekend with other people in the house and my sister five minutes away. We talked on the phone for six weeks. I visited him at his home for the equivalent of a day and a half and got to observe him in his home environment and meet a couple people who see him on the regular. I watched his face when he talked about his kids and talked with his sister and cousin on the phone. I know a genuine, heart on his sleeve kind of person when I see one. I know it because it is like looking in the mirror. He treats people exactly the way I do and that comes from a really genuine honest place. Are we crazy to go ďall inĒ by trying to build a real relationship? Maybe. But whatís the alternative? Neither of us are serial daters. I donít want to see a bunch of different people when I am this attracted to one person and neither does he. I guess because of OLD, we have more of an opportunity to ďshopĒ for potential partners and committing to one seems crazier than it did 20 years ago because we know that we can just go online and find ten other people who may or may not be better than the person we are currently dating. But Iím just not buying into that. Iíve been on a ton of first dates. I donít need to go on anymore just to satisfy some imaginary quota. I was looking for ONE person who matches me in values and who excites me enough to want to see him again. I found him so Iím going to see where it goes. So I guess when people say I am taking a huge risk, I just donít see it that way. The biggest risk I am taking is with my heart but I am okay with it because I went through hell with my XH and I came out the other side of it still me only now I know how strong I am. If things donít work out with TDH in the long run, I will survive. And if they do? Well...Iíll be really, really happy I took advantage of the opportunity when it was presented to me.
Anyway...gotta run. Last day with TDH before he heads back home. (((HUGS)))
Me 51 H 46 B/G Twins 11 SD19 Legal SA - January 2019 Divorce filed - June 2019 Divorce final - November 2019
Together 14 years Married 12 years BD1 - May 2014 BD2 - September 14, 2018