I agree with you both that it isn't the exact same situation and Andrew did, arguably, move faster. It still all seems a little break-neck speed to me, but I'm pretty skeptical usually. I think you put it best, LH....I'm totally a disease-riddled American. I mistrust first and ask questions later instead of trusting first. To Deja's point about how do you get rewards if you don't take risks....well, rewards and risks are not mutually exclusive so I can get rewards without risks. Of course, what I consider risk and what someone else considers risk may or may not be the same because we are all different. While Deja isn't moving TDH in like Andrew did S, she's still going "all in" which is something we've warned others about repeatedly, so I still see a double standard.

I think you are right, LH, that there is a happy medium. You can go ahead and put me on the boring and disease-riddled American side of that medium because I'm a grouchy old fuddy duddy. LOL

Me 50, H52
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
4 grandkids (plus 2 on the way)