Hi Core,

I just wanted to chime in to say that what you say above resonates so, so much with me too. It is a big part of the reason I've been willing to scarf down so many $hit sandwiches on chance, even if it is just 1%, that we can come out of this on the other side stronger and better together.

That being said... I have to say that the way you describe yourself-- fun, goofy, self-deprecating, family over job, wanting nothing more than going to sleep each night with someone you love and who loves you back... I don't know what women you hang out with but I can assure you that those are the qualities I would look for first in a partner and any of my close friends with whom I talk about this stuff would be the same. I think humor is incredibly attractive and I know I'm not alone. Money, ambition, power, prestige... in my experience, men who seek those things are usually a-holes. As U says, there ARE tons of single women out there looking for someone just like you. And, I know couples who have totally found what you describe in a second marriage. There is a whole wide world out there waiting for you.

Yail once said to me-- don't write your future before you get to it. That has stuck with me quite a bit. She's saying something similar to you-- leave your doors open for something unforeseen-- but I'll also gift back her words to me of not writing your future today in case that resonates in a different way.

Hang in there.


Me (45) H (41)
M:13 T:17, D8 & D11
4/19 BD #1 ILYB
8/19 BD #2 Long-distance EA
12/19 BD #3 Actually 2 year PA
2-5/20 R attempt #1
6/20 limbo again, back in contact with AP
9/20-present R attempt #2