Awww Ginger. When this stupid rash clears up youíll feel a bit better. I know how much you would like to find someone to share your life with. You are not are lonely. I could tell you all kinds of things that I know you tell yourself on the daily... focus on what you have not on what you donít have, youíll find someone when you are meant to, this, too, shall pass, etc... IMO...those things are all true and could be helpful if loneliness was all you were dealing with. But there is a lot on your plate right now and I can see that it just feels like too much. Iím sorry. I wish I could reach through this computer screen and make it all better as do many of us on here, Iím sure. All I can do is tell you what we tell people on here who are in the early days after BD... breathe, be kind to yourself, just get through the next hour, and then the hour after that. Stay focused on the present...donít think about the past and donít worry about the future. You canít go back and you canít know what is ahead of you. SD20ís mom is 60 and she has been without a partner for as long as you. She met a guy three years ago when she went back to her hometown who was going through a tough time in his marriage. They had mutual friends and I guess just hung out in a group as friends. He contacted her recently to say he was now divorced and had taken a year to ďhealĒ and that he couldnít stop thinking about her so had to reach out. She was just in Ontario visiting him and sounds like she is planning to move there to be with him. I have had a number of phone calls with her in the past (she wants to be my friend too) where she lamented and cried about how hard it was dating and there were NO great guys out there. Then one falls into her lap (SD20 says he is really nice and 12 years younger than her mom)...basically when she had pretty much given up. So it happens. Have faith. Trust that things will work out the way they are meant to and work on living your best life.

Praying you get better soon. (((HUGS)))

Me 51
H 46
B/G Twins 11
Legal SA - January 2019
Divorce filed - June 2019
Divorce final - November 2019

Together 14 years
Married 12 years
BD1 - May 2014
BD2 - September 14, 2018