Thanks for being a great cheerleader D. Iíve always been someone who believes in taking risks. Drove my mom She was very measured in everything she did and always, always erred on the side of caution. She was also very private and called me her ďheart on her sleeveĒ girl. I used to interpret it as disapproval but looking back, I think she just worried about me being hurt. As I got older though, and she saw how resilient I was despite my vulnerabilities, I could see that she was also a little bit proud that I didnít let my experiences change the person I am at my core. It does bother me though that she went to her grave thinking that I was in a marriage with someone who was lying to me and treating me so disrespectfully [I found out after she died that she thought he was lying and cheating on me.]. I hope there is a heaven and she is looking down and knows that I am doing well and no longer living a lie.

Complete topic change... I donít think I have mentioned on here that I am having surgery on September 8th. My twin pregnancy did a big number on my abdominal muscles and my stomach in general. There is just no bouncing back from carrying two huge babies (8 lbs 1 oz & 7 lbs 3 oz) to term. So Iíve opted to get a tummy tuck as a kind of gift to myself and, in a way, symbolically ridding myself of the last reminder of my marriage. I used to really love my stomach so I am excited to be getting it Not super excited about the recovery process but hey, I do get another two weeks off of work so thereís that. TDH was really sweet when I told him about it. He said he thinks Iím beautiful either way but if it is something I really want to do, I should go for it. He also said he will be worrying about me the entire time. My sister is going with me. Itís at a clinic about an hour and a half away so Iím having to stay the night in a hotel after the surgery so the nurse can check in on me in the morning and make sure everything is okay. Luckily the clinic is on the bottom floor of the hotel so I donít have to go far.

Anyway....time to get out of bed and face the day. (((HUGS))) to all. Have a great weekend everyone.

Me 51
H 46
B/G Twins 11
Legal SA - January 2019
Divorce filed - June 2019
Divorce final - November 2019

Together 14 years
Married 12 years
BD1 - May 2014
BD2 - September 14, 2018