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not where I thought I would be

Is all I can say these days. Nothing surprises me anymore.

I couldnít sleep last night I was so uncomfortable. I called out of work today. Then I looked in the mirror and the whole left wife of my face was covered in a swollen rash and my tongue was numb. I was more swollen in my abdomen. My arms are covered. I look hideous.

So I ran some errands woth D12 for her party and brought myself over to my place of work. In the ER. The PA I almost smacked. He told me there is nothing he could really do and went on how he didnít want to load me with steroid and said I am having just an absolutely awful reaction and Iíll probably be miserable for 2 more weeks. I literally began to cry. After every treatment known to man. Itís getting worse not better. He did end up giving me IV steroid and another oral steroid prescription. My nurses were wonderful kind and compassionate . Everyone looks at my arms and face and are like omg, thatís awful. But then they see my stomach and pretty much whole right side ( and itís even in my bellybutton) and they canít believe what they see.

Simple things always happen to me to the extreme. Since I was a kid. Itís seriously unbelievable sometimes. I just cry most of the day. I feel Ike Iím being tortured

I decided to hire some local high school boys to mow my lawn and get rid of these weeks, because I canít do it physically right now. Well, they didnít do the weeds ( where the poison ivy was ) so I went out and did it all myself tonight. My ex came over to drop off something for the party and saw me doing it and was like ďare you nuts?!?Ē We actually seemed to have some real compassion for me ( I did show him my stiomach) and heís never been one for compassion. He did laugh, because he is aware of my awful luck too.

So, I think Iím getting there for this party. It means so much to her. Iíve spent a lot of money so far to make this happen, and lottery put sweat and tears into it. I hope she and her friends have a great time. I wonít be sleeping Friday night. Iíll have kids attempting to sleep in a tent in the yard. Not sure how thatís going to go! N the only bathroom in my house is across from my bedroom. Iíll sleep when they leave on Saturday. Itís her dads birthday Saturday so he will come get her for the rest of the weekend. I got him a little more costly gift off of his amazon list since heís been helping me. From D12 of course

In the realm of good news...... beginning in November it was approved to work from home for 2 hours in the morning 4 weekend days a month to make
Up for my extra in person day. So 2 in person days a month instead of 3 with these extra hours. I can handle that. So I will keep my second job for a while. My social life is lacking anyways

My dad also came into some money in the stock market and wants to redo my kitchen. I need new counters and floors. The job will be between 4-5k but they want to pay. You know I am
On taking monetary gifts from my father, but he really wants to do it. And all the work Iíve been putting into my home will make it much more marketable come 5 years when Iím getting out of dodge. Iíll continue to lay down my credit cards with my extra job and I will take this gift.

Tomorrow if I donít look like leper, Iíll try to go to work. Everyone says to take another day off but I know we are short handed as it is. Maybe I should just take care of ya elf for a change. Iím feeling an ounce of relief at the moment ( as in I donít want to burn off all my skin) so letís hope this continues.

Lord, Iím tired. Iím so so tired. Emotionally. Otherwise Iím jacked up from the steroids, so I probably wonít sleep tonight.

I just really feel Ike I am immune to nothing. All those things where one canít imagine it happening to them. I can imagine it and full expect it, lol.

But with that, relief must come and a run on positive stuff

Last edited by job; 08/27/20 01:51 PM. Reason: added link to previous thread