I wanted to stop in and says thanks for the past few comments. I've reread a couple times the last few days. Got through the guilt and talked to IC about it all. I still have fondness for my W. Her steps, unique deep breaths, shoulder cracking. While she apparently thought I was disgusted or disappointed in her, she has no idea how I cherished her. Of course as she felt that way, anytime I mentioned how I loved her, she wouldnt trust my words and the relationship would erode.
We are getting along really well. Not romantically but really collaboratively now towards D. Its messed up for me since its not what I wanted but I think between that and a battle, its what has to be done.
Im working on forgiveness and peace as you gave me advice for. When shes amicable its easier. She's not trying to destory me as far as I know in the D. Thats making it easier.
H37, W37 D4, S2 ILYBNILWY 9/19 BD 9/19 EA discovered 10/19 Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated