Thanks Dawn. I donít think anyone comes on here to say mean things either which is why I said I hoped that wasnít the intention. Just took me aback a bit.
totally understand the advice given here re; TDH. Honestly, I would have said the same thing if I had read what I wrote on someone elseís thread. However, I just looked back on the last month of conversations and just how sincerely he came across and I just HAD to meet him in person to see for myself. I learned so much about him by doing that and most of what I learned was from observing him in his environment and not anything he said. I definitely did NOT get a player vibe... the opposite in fact. I saw a guy who had been married for 18 years and got cheated on and is now trying to build a life that is not what he thought it was going to be. We talked a bit about our experiences in that regard and how cheating was something neither of us would do. He said he thought that they would just both be committed to working things out no matter what and build a good life for their family. That was my expectation in my marriage too.
In terms of proceeding with caution... thatís just an automatic in our situation. We both are committed to being where our kids are so it will be a LDR for the foreseeable future with some weekends together and lots of talking in between. Iím okay with it. I get to do my thing during the week and keep up my other friendships and have time with him to look forward to. I really am okay on my own from a financial perspective so I donít really need to find someone to cohabitate with. If that happens with him in the future, it is a long way away... long enough that I will definitely know him very well by the time it happens.
I am really excited about how well it went and how much of his real life I got to see. I didnít expect that to be honest. I also didnít expect him to want to meet my friend who, by the way, texted me later that she really liked him and that she thought I should go for it. The two of them did have a great conversation and he didnít flinch when she was her usual direct self and asked him a bunch of pointed questions. He also asked her a bunch of questions which is, I think, in his nature as he does strike me as someone who is interested in other people. HIs phone conversations with his family were also revealing. He has gone through some really tough losses of people early on in his life and I can tell it has impacted him. He really values his family relationships and was told both his sister and cousin that he loved them. I commented on it when he hung up and he just said that he learned early in life how fleeting time can be and that it is important to tell people how you feel about them because you donít know if that is the last time you will talk to them. Kind of explains his lack of a filter when it comes to me. Also why whenever I have told him I am driving somewhere, he always wants me to let him know when I arrive so he knows I made it. Both his dad and one of us cousins were killed in car accidents...the other cousin a helicopter accident (he was the pilot).
Anyway...Iím super happy that we did meet and we are both on the same page in terms of where we see this going. My sister is thrilled. She wants me off the dating sites...lol. Says it is exhausting to go through it with me. As long as she is happy...lol
Me 51 H 46 B/G Twins 11 SD19 Legal SA - January 2019 Divorce filed - June 2019 Divorce final - November 2019
Together 14 years Married 12 years BD1 - May 2014 BD2 - September 14, 2018