Hi Rachel.

Yes you are right. This is very hard.

The best thing you can do is to stop reacting to his need to fight. He needs to see you as the "bad" person, so he is going to provoke you into fights and test you.

Don't fall for it.

Early in my situation, a friend told me something that changed my perspective.

"You cannot fight someone who does not fight back."

Its going to take some getting used to, because it is counter-intuitive, but leave him alone. Focus on you and your kids. Be the best parent you can be.

Sorry you are here but you're in a good place with a lot of very helpful people.

Take care - stay strong smile