Thank you Steve. That take is one I have to remind myself of probably for years to come here.
Flysolo, I cant imagine remarrying someone after divorce but right here you have a good example. Limbo and piecing seem hard enough, I cant imagine after divorcing for a few years. You're right on moving forward, I had to eventually and I saw no signs of things changing anytime soon.
Ginger, personally I believe she went to IC for validation of her choice. I have no clue if thats true but with nothing happening outside of her IC, I think she was going just to make it appear she was doing something. To keep me from filing.
IW, thank you for the message. What your parents went through and put you guys through sounds brutal. I see now what helped you obtain your ironwill. We are cordial for the kids. For me at the time being, its going ok even though I am harbouring all the ill feelings and thoughts towards W. Maybe it'll be easier to let them go after D.
Right now, this person ended my dream, my families dreams and my kids chances of a complete family and stable future. Shes messing me up financially for years to come, im turned off to any LTRs and Im stuck in a part of the world I didnt want to stay in for at least 17 years. All this over feelings. She initiated an R chat yesterday. She forgot the good, got validation of the bad and now thinks she never truly loved me and that someone else will make her happy. She admitted to one or two of her own issues but the solution isnt or wasnt to work on them. Ending the M and finding someone new is the solution. She felt like there were problems for awhile and it ate her up. FELT. She even admitted it was a feeling and may not have been really what happened but the feeling is what mattered. A feeling over reality. F that, no more LTRs for me. Admittedly even if her perception was wrong, the feeling she recieved dictates destroying what we had. She wishes we did more things romantically....she apparently forgot the first several years and her stopping those things.
How can I forgive that? I still get why I should but how I dont yet see. She has no idea what she wants but her and her family and friends know for sure that I'm the cause of unhappiness.
Were looking at a year a least to find a house in this market. Even longer to win one and afford it. This hell all over temporary feelings is just garbage in my opinion.
H37, W37 D4, S2 ILYBNILWY 9/19 BD 9/19 EA discovered 10/19 Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated