I don't think I've commented on your thread before. For what it's worth, I have just filed and I did not discuss it with my H before hand. For me it was taking our children away for a family weekend and not telling me his GF would be there. Do I feel guilt at times, yes. Do I feel like if I hung on a bit longer that he may realise that I am the love of his life, absolutely. It feels like giving up. And that feeling [censored].
But you know what else, at some point we need to move forward. As long as you are doing it for you and not to shock them into some sort of epiphany, then it is the right thing to do. Steve is right, if they want to R, then a divorce is not going to stop them.
A childhood friend recently got in touch. I have not spoken to him in 20 years. Since we last spoke he has got married, has had two kids, got divorced and then remarried the same woman again 7 years later. I imagine it is a struggle for them. But they are committed to trying. It happens. D is not the end. It's a new beginning. The beginning of what is completely up to you.