A follow-up question to this line of questioning is usually "how will I know when the A is over and he really wants to come back?"
The answer is: you will know without any doubt when he is serious about returning to the MR. On the A being over, when his behavior is consistent over a long period of time, then you can be sure it is over. Do not trust words.
Is it a bad idea to ask my WAH if he is still in contact with the OW? Is this pursing? I ask because he is acting like my friend. I don't want to be his friend. I want to be his W. I think I've blown all DB efforts because I have been too accepting of his friendly gestures. I honestly don't know how to behave. I don't want to be in the friend zone, however I don't turn down opportunities to spend time with him out of fear that if I don't this will ruin my changes of R.
Yes it is bad to do that. Remember the DB principle: remove all pressure and pursuit.
WASs and WWs in particular, will cake eat as long as you let them. Always being available to him WHEN he decides to condescend down from his throne to spend time with you doesn't increase your chance of Ring. In fact, it decreases it. Why? Because you are teaching him that he can do whatever he wants, and you'll be there anytime he decides he needs you.
So the best thing you can do is to start turning him down. Go no contact. Make him miss you a little. Remember, humans typically want most what they cannot have.
Mo, one last thing. Anything you do motivated out of fear is likely the wrong thing to do. Do things out of a place of power and control. You cannot control him or when he contacts you. But you can control you and your reactions to it! So let him start seeing what life is truly like without MoGirl in it. Otherwise he will continue to use you as a friend.
M(52), W(53),D(17) M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018