Steven Covey says in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People that love isn't a noun, it's a verb. It's not something that just "is", it's something you do. It's actions you perform. And those actions are not always easy. Sometimes love means doing something you don't want to do, something uncomfortable, even painful. If your spouse comes to you and says they are done, they want out and nothing will change their mind, what is the ultimate expression of love at a time like this? Is it demanding they stay and work on things? No, that's what YOU want. True love is allowing them to have what they want, it is saying "this isn't what I want, but I understand it's what you want and I will support your decision." I had that talk with my XW when she said she wanted to separate, and it was all I could do not to break down and cry on the spot. I hated saying it because it wasn't what I wanted. But it was the loving thing to do.
Sometimes, like the title of Dobson's marriage book says- love must be tough!