It's been three weeks since I sent XH an email asking him to work with me on the parenting plan and de-escalate the tension for S2's sake. He hasn't responded to that, nor has he responded to my L's email negotiating the refinance period for his car loan. I'm half expecting responses today because he usually has Mondays off, but we shall see.

Last week, I sent MIL a farewell letter telling her that while I always loved XH, I was filing for divorce because infidelity is a dealbreaker for me. I laboured over this message for months and had a small breakdown once I worked up the courage to hit send. I said I was so grateful for her kindness and generosity and welcoming me into the family. I told her I didn't wish him any ill will, although I can't be friendly with him, and I hope he sorts his life out and finds happiness. I said I hoped this would bring everyone closure and that I just wanted to put the marriage behind me and be the best mother I can. I told her I knew she would love and support XH no matter what and that I will bow out of their lives gracefully, but we will always be connected through S2.

She replied yesterday:

Hi Scout, we are pleased that you are moving on with life and we wish you all the best. S2 will always be our link to you and we are happy to keep in touch. We love S2 with all our heart as we do XH and will always be there for both of them. Love MIL and FIL xx

I debated on sending the letter for a long time. It was really important to me that it not be motivated by anger, or trying to get a certain response from her. I would have been fine with no response, but what she said is fine too. Keeping this secret was like a poison dart preventing me from healing. If sending the letter was selfish, I'm okay with that. It would be the only selfish thing I've done in this whole mess. Holding it in was turning me into someone mean and small and bitter. I don't know if I did right, but I can move on with a clear and peaceful heart now.


W32
X30
S2

June 2019 | Runaway husband
May 2020 | Legal separation
Xmas 2020 | Divorce hearing