Thanks DnJ.

I respectfully disagree with the notion that pointing out there was a scheduled dropoff time is 'jumping on him'.

I certainly do not let STBXH know that I am fed up. I'm a grey rock, as much as possible, during interactions. Bland, boring, no sharp edges. I do not react. I do not encourage or invite this behaviour. He does it, I put up with it, and so it goes. Hence the frustration, which I vent here, to my parents, or to my friends.

I don't ask questions about his parenting time because it's none of my business. There is no chat or banter because I am not interested in conversation with the man who continues to abuse me. I take S2's bag when he hands it over (no, he hasn't provided one of his own) and then I welcome S2 into the house. That is the extent of my interaction with him.

I have to have my neighbours attend changeovers because I am afraid of this man. Soothing his ego and praising him for doing the bare minimum as a parent in order to 'modify' our interactions comes pretty close to victim-blaming in my book. As in, if I don't do it, I am complicit in my own abuse.

My only interest now is self-protection and the protection of S2.


June 2019 | Runaway husband
May 2020 | Legal separation
Xmas 2020 | Divorce hearing