By the time the second BD rolled around (and not even really a "BD", was actually just me discovering her continued contact with OM) I was hurt and sad, yes, since i had started to believe we were truly piecing, but, MORE than those emotions, I was angry and disgusted, and completely ready to jettison her and move on with my own life (which had become pretty darned good by that point).
My life isn't good yet but I am starting to get disgusted at H's behavior.
And lest you say "Oh, well, he got to piecing, which is why he felt better", I would tell you that i got to that better place WELL before it looked like my WW would turn to piecing... such that when that "false start" fell apart, it was not nearly as devastating as when she first BD'd me. In fact, it was not devastating at all.
I think piecing is harder than being a LBS and that no one should do it until they are over the wayward spouse
You need to get to that place where you feel good about YOU... you're cheating spouse be d@mned. And it CAN and WILL happen.... but you do need to put some effort in it to achieve maximum effect
This will seem lame but I have cooked dinner every night for my kids. Real meals too. When they ask me to do something I do it asap (make an appt, get something at the store, wash a special shirt, etc.) My kids have commented that they didn't think I'd make that appt, remember to wash that shirt, etc. I'm mostly caught up at work and I feel good about that. It's hard and I'm emotionally drained but I'm pushing through it hoping that one day my work will pay off. Right now? Still suffering.
Last edited by job; 01/24/2005:57 PM. Reason: edited language