Thanks all. Still staying sceptical but feeling better about the direction of travel. Should I be approaching things any differently now things are beginning to turn or should I be sticking to my guns and continue DB'ing? I'm still fun, GAL etc but I'm engaging in more and more conversation because we're both finding that helpful but there is mainly a lot of validation and listening. I'm aware OM being cut off may leave an E hole where he has been - should I aim to fill it while she transitions or let her get over it herself? W maintains it is not a big deal, just that she is losing a friend and supportive person to talk to but I will never be sure of that. MC was her idea - never yet mentioned by me as I didn't think we were ready - which I was pleased about. W also said she is worried about what my terms might be (even though I have mentioned a few things since I found out), which suggests she thinks there is some way to go.
Let me reword your question and you can tell us if it makes logical sense:
"Hey guys, I've been doing X, Y, and Z and its been working. Should I stop doing X, Y, and Z?"
As far as the empty hole.......you cannot fill that. Sorry. She has to go through the loss.
M(51), W(52),D(16) M-20, T-23 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018