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I like the way that you have responded to your XW. She has a long way to go and let's face it, she may never fully wake up and accept the fact that she is the one that has burned her bridge between her daughters and herself. It's truly a shame because your daughters are growing up and will soon be out on their own.
I hope all is well w/you and the girls and your daughter's health issue is doing much better.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.