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I am so sorry to read about the post BD meet up. Your posting truly broke my heart to read it. How cold and indifferent your h and his parents were. They were very uncomfortable w/the way that meet up went. As for the in-laws, they don't have a clue when it comes to their son. They were most likely hoping that all of this would be shoved under the rug and life would go on. Your h may have told them some out of this world lies/excuses as to why he's doing what he's doing and they will believe him for a while...but eventually, the truth will come out...but until then...blood is always thicker than water.
Your h was and is a very lost soul. He really does not know why he doesn't love you and if you were to ask him today, the answer would still be the same. In his mind, he's been unhappy for a very long time and he thinks the marriage and you are the reason for that unhappiness. Your man needs to grow up and realize that happiness comes from within and not from exterior things.
He would have blamed you for the moon rising or the sky being blue. That is the way of the MLCer, i.e., they blame us for everything that went wrong in the lives, i.e., not taking blame for anything. They remember and remind us of things that we did or say many years ago and then use those things as excuses for what they are doing now.
Scout, you are human and you wanted to try to make things right w/him. We all have apologized for our flaws. Don't ever beat yourself up over apologizing to him.
My xh said the same thing to me as well, i.e., "he didn't hate me, but he didn't love me either". It's a phrase from the MLC lingo book. Another one is "I don't love you the way I use to". Typical lingo from a MLCer.
Scout, you've come a long way and you are stronger than you think. Please do not ever doubt yourself. The road you are traveling started out as a difficult one, but from where I am sitting, you are getting stronger each and every day and that road is starting to lose the bumps and potholes for you.
Keep the focus on you and your child. Listen to what your h has to say, but sift through the garbage spewing from his lips to find the truth. You know what you need to do and no matter what he says or does...you are the one fighting for your child and yourself.
Hang in there.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.