Originally Posted by Jac12
Some time to show consistency on her part. Is she willing to put in the work to build the trust back that she destroyed...while living somewhere else.

If you live together it'll be too easy to let things slide back to how they were.

Plus...if she comes back too easily she'll be more likely to do this again in the future.

OS2. Respect is earned. Trust is earned. Self respect is your boundaries wants needs and desires. You are being manipulated. Since you insist on being a glutton for punishment so early in the game before real healing, real thought, real actions and real consideration is being given torwards R. If you are going to set the terms after W had an abortion from another guy. Listen. She's back because her backup plan failed. Not because she's remorseful. Might as well make them good. Test her. You want 24/7 access to her phone on demand, her computer, her phone records, no girls night out. Updates on her whereabouts. Dates once a week. Termination of contact with OM and you want to see it before its done, individual and joint therapy, financial monitoring. Access to phone records, records of all comms apps. Some healthy boundaries for you. You GAL You focus on you, changing and growing and healing. Make her prove just how much she wants to R for the right reasons. Im willing to bet if you make these demands so early on that's she's going to say you are being controlling. If she does? Then open the door and ask her to leave. If it were me personally I would make her work harder and ghost her. Nothing like time and space for people to grow and make them think hard how bad they f@$!ed up. The only way to do that is to allow them to experience that the grass isn't always greener and let their backup plans fail. For you its a win/win. You are always plan a in your actions, words and deeds for you. What do you think would be going on right now if she didn't get caught? People show remorse through their actions when They truly mean it. Not their words. Even then. They have to earn you back.