Thanks both. Jstrembr I read your thread, you sound so thoroughly decent Iím sorry youíre here. Sounds classic where your W is emotionally fulfilled somewhere else but still has love and respect for you and her head is confusing her. Hang in there.

For my situation, I donít want to take my W at her word right now and still feel extremely dubious but my W has been doing a lot of things in preparation for moving back in and I see that a lot of the things sheís done over the last 2 months since she left (outside the A) are on ďfixing thingsĒ so we can have another shot at marriage. I think her plan was delayed for moving back in due to guilt etc but she says she has been coping with that slightly better recently. She assured me last night that the A was 3 weeks in November and she stopped it and moved out to come to terms with it. Again Iím dubious but it matches the other things I know to some degree (with probable overlap). She said last night it was a mistake and that she was hoping Iíd never find out and we could move on but there were too many clues to ignore.

We need to talk more and I need to entirely detach for a bit but I was wondering if she wants to work on it should I give her an ultimatum or present her with what I would need from her (no contact, etc) or should I wait for her? Iíd really like to tell her I want her to have nothing to do with him but there is an EA there and I donít want to push her towards it. Sheís got to agree to it. I donít want to rush it though either. Feel Iíve got time to reflect and come to terms with it now. I might be in control of the timeframe finally.

Last edited by OS2; 01/11/20 08:14 AM.