Scout, your anger is justified but my suggestion to you is to write lots of letters you don't send to H and never engage in those kinds of conversations with him in person or writing or anything. Not even about visitation. Get a lawyer and pay that person to handle visitation; the money will be well worth your sanity. That anger will consume you, not him. He doesn't even understand what you are saying. If he is in MLC, he is not the man you knew and he is living in a completely different reality until he gets through MLC. You know how in Charlie Brown the grown-ups are always saying, "wanh wanh wanh wanh" no matter what they are saying? Everything you say is like that to him except that any anger feeds his perception of everything he hates about you.
Would you try to have a rational conversation about your relationship with a great-grandma with Alzheimer's who thought you were her mother?
Would you try to have a rational conversation about our relationship with a drug addict who was in the middle of a heroin high?
If you have read my sitch, you know that I have been at this for 7 years. I assure you that the only way you will live through this is if you stop justifying, explaining or discussing anything with your H until he comes to you openly expressing interest in you. That day will come if you drop the rope, but only if you drop the rope. It might come many years from now when you chose to move on. But everything you say now is like talking to an evil talking doll in a horror movie.
Last edited by Gerda; 01/06/2001:31 PM.
I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord with courage. Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.