Hey scout it sounds like you finally closed that chapter emotionally and I hope this gives you the power to keep going with your journey.

Thanks for the validation and constant support, DS. I feel stronger now. I'm a little worried about retaliation through the settlement, but will deal with that as it comes. He tested me this afternoon by dropping S1 off 30 minutes late. I didn't acknowledge it.

One tries to get to a place where they act on beliefs and thought rather than emotion.

I like seeing that you have your feeling of power back. I found that no one can steal someone’s power; we actually gave it away, and like you just did, we take it back.

I think it’s going to take some time for the dust to settle with H.

Hopefully you will be pleased to hear that I was pretty calm throughout. Lots of truth darts, but delivered with a calm, logical, neutral tone. I made my judgement clear, without being mean or nasty. In my opinion, anyway.

I did give my power away in my attempt to save the marriage. I reacted to the information (or lack thereof) I had at the time so I can't give myself too much grief, but I do feel a little foolish not knowing I was fighting with another woman for H's affections. At least I can say that I made every effort to rescue the marriage. Again, no regrets.

Regarding dust settling - do you mean between H and I? Or just with him? Today's conversation shows he hasn't budged on his stance. If anything, he has dug himself deeper into denial, blame and anger. I'm back to NC now, so hopefully S1 and I will be safe from the fallout if he self-destructs. My hope is that settlement proceeds as per our verbal agreement, but as I said to DS, he might now retaliate.

I read that Own's H intially agreed and then refused to sign for three years. I can't imagine how frustrating that would be. Hopefully the financial incentive for H to receive his share of settlement cash will convince him to sign.


June 2019 | Runaway husband
May 2020 | Legal separation
Xmas 2020 | Divorce hearing