So the friend I mentioned, R, had birthday drinks last night and asked me to come along. Again he made it clear that H wasn't invited or welcome. I had some nice red wine and didn't talk about H at all, as I knew it would be inappropriate given I was amongst his friends. It was a lot of fun to have a night off from parenting and I very rarely drink, so by the time I left I was pretty tipsy.

H's other friend, M, was there as well. He ended up giving me a lift home. We did talk about H at that point and I told him a lot of things that have happened the past seven months. M confessed that he suspected H was involved with someone else from the get-go, because he saw d@mning messages from OW on H's phone when he moved in. He said that H often didn't come home at night during the period of time we were 'on a break'. And the kicker - that he and H went on a boys' camping trip and H asked if he could bring OW and her sister. I don't think M was impressed by this, nor did he seem like a fan of OW.

He gave me a big hug when he dropped me off and said I could chat to him anytime. I sent a message saying thanks for the lift and the talk, and that I was sorry if my drunken confessions put him in an awkward position. He replied saying it was fine, he had no idea how tough it had been on me. He was sorry H hadn't handled things in a mature way and that sadly it was obvious he had only thought of himself in this process. He thought H's priorities were all mixed up and it was sad that he felt like something was missing from his life when he actually had it all.

In other news, H's grandmother passed away yesterday. I found out from my friend J who let me know he would be off work for a week for the funeral etc. Haven't heard anything from H about this affecting visitation, so I will just wait and see what happens. He was close with his nan as a boy, but she has been estranged from him and his parents for a couple of years.

I keep remembering his grandfather's funeral a couple of years ago. H cried while I held his hand and whispered words of comfort into his ear. I had only seen him cry once before. I hope he is OK. I might message his mother with my condolences at some point. Is that the right thing to do?

Last edited by job; 01/03/20 10:32 PM. Reason: edited language

W32
X30
S2

June 2019 | Runaway husband
May 2020 | Legal separation
Xmas 2020 | Divorce hearing