You both are pretty much correct. I'm clearly not chauvinistic or a player - those are both terms I've rarely if ever been called. I also have no need to serial date or date multiples of women - in fact I'd rather not. It's not fun anymore. I used to love to date, now while I can't say I "hate" it I certainly can't say I love it. So as KML somewhat spells it out, I'd be fine with dating the same person - and even steady sex is not a deal breaker - at least I don't think it would be. Little or no sex might be a deal breaker but I have to say I had way more sex with Wild Girl than has been typical, at least in recent years so that level is not a must have - but I clearly won't turn it down. LOL
I also don't have to have it happen "organically." I'd be fine if I met someone through OLD - it's just been my experience that I've never even come close. But much worse, I felt like crap after trying. So I finally decided, i'm not getting anywhere, I'm certainly not finding someone and I feel bad about myself afterwards so at least I can get the same results - which was nearly no results - and not feel depressed and used about it. I may have been going after those out of my league as KML says happens. I could see that. But I've very often dated up. I mean I see people, even here, who clearly are dating down, with some I wonder just who are they turning down for dates. But I am picky and I'm not going to settle and it's just been my experience with OLD you are totally settling and the quality people quickly figure out there are not many other quality people there and they bail. That happens in life. Quality attracts quality whether it be in the job market or meetups or clubs or whatever. People want to be part of something happening and successful and that's just not what I've found in OLD but if I somehow did, I'd be fine with it.
What do I want? I'm not sure. I know more of what I don't want. I'd be fine with getting into a LTR but by MY CHOICE and not by force. Again, that's why the book WMLB speaks to me. The author talks about just this - the women gets what she wants and the guy doesn't even know it happened to him. The more I feel pressured the less I'm going to want to do it. But if not pressured and I find a quality woman I'd want to be with her more often than not, I could totally see myself doing that. But I've heard a couple "celebrity" types talk about this recently. One is a local radio talk show host that used to also fill in for Rush. He's now in his 60s. I've been called his "jr." as we are much alike in many ways. He's never been married and at this point doesn't even try to date. He's done with it all. Yet, interesting enough, he talks more and more on the radio about past GFs - almost like longing for years gone by. He's given up and he's totally fine with it - or so he says. I also heard one of the original guys from the band Chicago. He's been married and D'd 3 or 4 times. When asked recently about getting married again he said "I don't know what I would or even could bring to a M." That is totally me. I don't know what I'd bring. I know what I'd get. But I'm not sure I offer as much. I certainly could. I just need a rather strong, self-confident woman who is happy with herself and doesn't need a guy to complete her. Just that right there - not going to find a lot of those OLD where half the profiles seem to be looking for their soulmate!
But maybe it's time to try again, I don't know. I just don't have the ambition and I think that's a lot of it and I think it shows. For whatever reason, I really tried with Wild Girl. Maybe it was needing someone to go on the cruise with me, I don't know. But even friends were like "dude, see, you gave some effort and see what you got?" And I agree. with more than half the dates I've gone on this year, I was pushing myself to go. It wasn't like with WG where I was really looking forward to it - it really was like going grocery shopping or something, I pushed myself to do it. Some of those women I should not even have asked out. A few I'd gone out with in the past and found no spark, why would it be different this time? A few of them I almost wish I could take back the cruise invitation - they didn't deserve to go. One I feel like I almost begged her. Seriously? I'm going to beg someone??? She should have been so flipping lucky and doesn't know what she's missing and should be totally regretting not making it happen. But she too may have sensed I was not all that interested. WG could sense I was. But I can't fake it. I'm just too brutally honest.
Been struggling with some other things but this post is long enough already and I'm not sure I'm ready to try to spell it all out. Tried to flirt with a waitress at a new bar gig on Friday (she's a school teacher and this is her PT gig) but she left before that went anywhere and I also heard complaints she was a terrible waitress LOL. Maybe it's the holidays as well, I don't know. I did finally get a cabin # for the cruise but have not tried to log in or check things out any further yet. Even with the drama, I was so excited and had so much fun last year. I just don't see that happening this year. I will try, I really will, I just hope I don't go from one of the best vacations in the last 10 years to one of the worst.
Anyhow, back to the original topic, I have been told so often how woman hate these guys that come on so strong and want to get married or at least get serious after the 2nd or 3rd date and all of these women who don't' want that, just want someone to do things with. While I know some of them, they don't date ANYONE. Some of you here seem to think they don't exist. Others think they exist but only in the retirement age. Hmmmmm, well I did get an inquiry to see if I could help out a band the day after the cruise in the Villages down in Florida. This place is a notorious sex party in Florida for the 60 and up crowd. Maybe I'll do better there. LMAO
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D