I certainly see what you guys are saying and I don't even disagree, but it's not that simple. To begin with, seemingly fitting with younger is nothing new. When i was 27 I had a GF that was 20, so it's not a midlife thing. That said, I have dated older and married a year younger than me. Wild Girl was probably that largest age difference (13 years) and it's not like I purposely look for or go after that. The handful of women I've dated this year have all been closer to my age, although still younger - just within single digits.

The thing is, how do I make myself attracted to something I'm not? Especially how do i make myself sexually attracted? I could certainly see myself being friends with a retired senior citizen but I just am not sexually attracted so it's almost like trying to make myself be interested in red-heads when i have never found that attractive either. It's nothing personal, I just don't like the fair skin, thin red hair. Not even sure why, I just don't find it attractive. That said, it really is much more about the person for me - at least in that it doesn't matter how hot a woman may be, if my brain is not stimulated the rest of me won't be either. Personality really is the biggest attractor - but obviously, just by it's nature, you notice the outside before you get to know the inside.

So I can totally see what you are saying about some of the other aspects fitting - especially perhaps not looking for a husband, having more time, not having teenagers or even younger children. But even so, how do i make myself attracted? I either feel it or I don't. I certainly can try to give more of a chance, although I think I already do. As I've said before and often say to my friends, I'm much more picky than perhaps I deserve to be - I just am and always have been. I've always been quality before quantity. But I also like what I like and fit with what I fit with and I'm not sure how to change that or if it even can be changed.


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D