Please listen to AS, and re-read his reply at least twice more. A lot of gold in his reply, a huge lot. You should consider yourself lucky to have him in your corner. Listen to his advice.

You are entering probably the hardest part of your journey, the initial shock is wearing off and the brunt of the situation is pressing down on you. You are desperately trying to find that silver bullet that one thing that will turn your situation around. You got to calm yourself down, embrace the hurt and start moving forward on your own. You got to better yourself, rebuild bballer1 into bballer at least 2.0.

The more time you spend wallowing in your own despair, the longer your journey will take...