Ill comment more here later. Uni? Why take the bait, and play into the blame shame game with S7 behavior that XW's narrative is leading and controlling with counciling. That's not to say she doesn't have feelings. Ask... Paraphrase..."What have I done since S7 was 4" Ask a question with a question. Acknowledge it, don't defend it, and semi validate her feeling on it. Nod your head and smile... Say ok if that's how you feel. The councelors is right. The why is only somewhat important. Mention you're lack of time with the kids. That you won't be controled,that the kids are not pawns to XW feelings, and that the victim narrative needs to stop. If it doesn't stop during counciling, and solutions to the problems are not reccomended, suggested, and negotiated in a reasonable fashion, that you will get up, leave the room and leave counciling all together if the two of you cannot find a middle ground. You have 3 choices. You can parent them you're way. You can parent them her way, or you can work together to parent them collaboratively. REMIND XW THAT THIS IS NOT ABOUT HER OR YOU!!! This is about what is the best possible outcome and direction for the kids. The both of you can do this the hard way, or do it the collaborative way. Its up to her since she is the one crying victim.