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But even moreso... I feel like my W does not see us as equal parents.
This is why I don't understand co-parenting. She doesn't see you as an equal or worthy of anything right now or you would not be here! Look at the list Sandi says W feels about husband. Your wife has zero I mean zero respect for you so how in the world would you be able to co-parent? I have heard it working in a few cases, but usually that is when the divorce is wanted by both individuals and trust/respect still given.
Examples from my life:
-XW takes D13 to therapist without informing me and then when I email about it she makes up excuses why she didn't tell me even though it is written in our divorce decree she has to tell me. Why does she do this because I don't matter.
-XW demands I heal her relationship between D13 and her. Why because I must be at fault for why it is bad not her actions.
-XW bad mouths me when talking to other people in front of D13. Why because in her eyes I am worthless and she has no respect for me.
-XW buys D13 gifts all the time. Why because the true way to a persons heart is through money.
-XW lies to D13. Why because it is justified if it brings D13 closer to her and hurts me.
Unchien my advice to you is to look hard at what kind of dad you want to be, what role you want to play in your children's lives, what morals and values you would like to instill in your children, and finally get a lawyer and fight to make sure you have that right. If you become the dad you would like to be and DB from wife then the hope is one day W realizes that you did what you needed to do to become an amazing person and father all of which has nothing to do with her. You may need to look into parallel parenting.
1st BD December 26, 2008 PA admitted to by XW December 29, 2008
2nd BD May 23, 2019 Daughter confirms EA Divorce Finalized July 18, 2019