Yeah AS that's exactly what is going through my mind. Its like every little step torwards meeting new people in a dating sense feels like I'm being disloyal to another person, or the idea of another person, and myself, but then logic kicks in and I realize that this person no longer has no loyalty or commitment to me based on their past year of actions.
This is all a very different experience for me because in past relationships, the other person went away. So? Detachment occurred naturally. But when you have to speak with Ex over kids, finances, settlements, etc. That person never just goes away. Feelings still get stirred, but they lessen and become less frequent over time when you limit contact and attachment through time and space.
I almost feel like I'm doing something wrong, and being a hypocrite even though I am not. Being cheated on before, I despise them, and despise people who grab one hand before letting go of another. Or monkey branching. But people justify their actions in all different contexts. "Well I'm not in love with him/her so I can pursue others" "We were on a break so technically its ok." Or "He/She makes me feel good about myself and alive" or "There's nothing wrong with a new experience" or "Its just a date, I'm not marrying the person, or having sex with them Im just getting to know people. "
The ink on my divorce is not dry, hell it hasn't even been drafted yet...I really should wait until its final, but I gotta live and be social and enjoy life too while still rolling solo and working on myself ya know?