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Clearly I need to continue in IC to explore my fear. I am afraid of my W, and feel like I need to sort out these issues. I feel controlled and manipulated. It's going to take me awhile. I also need to figure out how to manage this relationship with her for the rest of my life, because we have kids together.
The false (or overblown) accusations have really worn me down at this point. Traumatized is a strong word, but I do feel burned very badly and worry that I will develop serious trust issues. The people who were supposed to be there for me in my life (my parents, my W) have more or less abandoned me. I know that it is more about them than me, but it's not that easy to brush it off.
And rooskers to your point... I'm not sure I trust myself anymore. In little situations... do I stand up for myself, let it go? What am I communicating to another person by how I respond? It's all overwhelming and exhausting sometimes.