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It feels like giving up. I'm on a divorce BUSTING web forum after all..
Most of the "experts" here are divorced. There was no divorce busting at all. (Personally, I think a few would be better served on militant men's rights forum) but that's for another day.
Also, it should be noted that many here give advice contrary to MWD. At times, I feel the advice here pushes spouse into binary thinking and thus moves them to divorce without giving them a path home.
Remember the things that did or didn't serve them in their marriages won't necessarily serve your efforts.
I've seen you drop in a few times and say how a lot of the advice is going contrary. Let's start a separate thread to discuss.
In regards to this thread, detaching should feel like giving up. It is, in a sense, giving up. It's letting go of things you can't control, it's listening to your spouse and quit trying to talk them out of it. It's stopping pursuit, which a lot of people think is them standing for their marriage.
There are lots of discussions about keeping the road home paved smooth. It's very hard to thread that needle for most people early on in there sitches.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.