Originally Posted by unchien
It feels like giving up. I'm on a divorce BUSTING web forum after all.


You're just giving her what she wants. Remember what I said earlier about jiu jitsu? Giving her what she wants isn't giving up, it's a DIFFERENT FORM of fighting for a possible future with her.

I agree with Roosker's edits. Short and sweet wins the day. Don't inject personal emotion into it. Don't talk about how badly you want to stay in the M, she knows that already. If she thinks the D is being rushed then believe me, you will be the first to know!

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Why continue this path of misery with someone who doesn't want to work on it?


A very valid question that EVERY LBS needs to ask themselves sooner or later.

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Or am I missing something I should be doing, or should have done, differently? It is absolutely maddening.


It's her journey, not yours.

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When we had our blow-up 6 days ago, she said I never tried to win her back. I told her "Go read those letters I wrote you in April". I wrote 3 letters then, 2 apologies, and 1 love letter. I know better now. I shouldn't have even said this to her. But she cannot read those letters and think "This is a guy who is checked out of the marriage." Again, why do I bother, it was a waste of my energy.


Either validate these comments or don't respond at all. "That must have been frustrating for you."


Me: 59 w/ S17, D23, D26
Current R: 4 years
Previous M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:56