U,

Validation does take time and practice. While you are covering the basic needs or your wants of the 50/50 and a reasonable financial settlement, that can get tricky as well... so validation could help you in the long run to being both good co-parents. Right now it may be the farthest thing you can imagine, but once the dust settles and the emotions are gone, your emotional control and validation could swing things in the far future. My W and I were still amicable so when we were splitting weeks, she was able to come around when I had the kids and I was able to come around when she had them. She was willing to help with picking the kids up from school if there were days I would be late due to work.

I've seen AS, R2C, Gekko discuss and lay out the basics pertaining to the financial split and assets. While your needs can be described as basic, (we don't need much), this is not the time to be laid back about it. Consider what those holidays will look like, who gets who when, and what will work for both of you. Is there a plan a or b, something to fall back on that you both agree to ahead of time? Be prepared to negotiate, and don't totally give in but don't also argue over something petty. Planning ahead now on how this could play out could help you prevent sudden flare ups if you thought she would let you have x y z days and she ends up not letting you. Think about what works for you and what you would want, then imagine if she disagreed. What would or could you do to work towards an agreement?


Last edited by Adam04; 10/12/19 03:05 AM.

H 49 , W 47
T 23, M 17
S11, S5
BD: 7/18
IHS: 7/18 - 3/19
Physically Separated: 3/19-4/19
Piecing: 4/19 - Current

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