I've read the boundaries thread and yes I have been saying a lot of statements that come across as "Controlling". I can now see why she has pulled away and even called a lawyer this morning. It seems like every time the light bulb goes off it is too late.
I guess its not to late to set boundaries and at the same time demand respect without trying to make her respect me. My boundaries will be respected because they are for me. She may like it or not but it will not come from a place where it makes her feel like I am manipulating or controlling her.
I can see how this is also giving respect and will ultimately help yourself gain respect in the process. It comes from a place of true inner strength and resilience. Boundaries when applied correctly will also give you confidence because you do not allow someone to cross them and that builds strength.
I guess my next step is to create a game plan for the future. Set boundaries based on things that protect my feelings and my integrity. Continue to do 180's, detach, and GAL.