Another text this morning from W about the broken boiler.

Got a short reply to my email too yesterday - she isn't in the house much, so "not sure if [she] can get round to reading the gas meter" - it literally takes less than 30 seconds so don't know why that is such a task for her!
She said "I'm barely in the house anymore, am so busy."

I will reply letting her know that the gas company will just estimate our use then so the bill will be higher for October.

I also want to keep the grandfather clock. I paid for it as a post-wedding present for her, so I'd like it for myself. My parents don't want us to sell it either. I'll just say "One other thing - I would like to keep the clock."

I will then close by acknowledging "Sounds like you are keeping busy" and leave it at that.

***********

It seems like she is also detaching from me too. It feels very strange talking to her in this curt way, when previously we'd be littering our emails with "xxxxxxxx" etc. I do wonder what she's thinking sometimes. Are we both playing the same game - keeping aloof from each other?

My fundamental belief is she's been co-erced and pressured into choosing D by others, and I occasionally feel a little down by the fact that she effectively just 'switched off' her love for me in less than 12 weeks - but then is this a case of "Don't believe half of what they say or do"?? I don't see how after 8 years one can simply stop loving another in less than 3 months - what does that say about how that person viewed the relationship? If I were any other guy, would she act in exactly the same way?

Is she re-writing history with her friends and family, and boasting about how she's 'strong and will be fine. I don't need him.' etc. etc.? I have fleeting moments of feeling frustration at her - admitting to not want to put any effort into salvaging the M, or refusing MC and IC for herself, or just listening to biased opinions from friends/work colleagues/family. What really annoyed me is her work colleagues saying "I took my husband back and now I regret it." She has just assumed her life will play out exactly like theirs.

I wonder what will happen in a few months' time, when D is over, we're both single, house sold, and she's living in a tiny bedroom in her brother's house (she can have a desk or a wardrobe, not both. That's how small it is). Will she feel like she made the right decision?

Should my plan therefore be:
1. Just go with the D, let the house be sold, let us divide up the assets, leave her be.
and
2. Continue to GAL and feel more positive about myself
and
3. Don't talk to her unless she asks something about the house and even then keep it business-like and short.


Me - 36, W - 32
No kids
T - 8 yr, M - 3 yr
Discovery - 14 May 2019
S - 25 May 2019 & D bomb - 29 July 2019
D & House sale final - Feb 2020