Realised I have not really thought about W's family, my nieces, or my W's friends for weeks. They only intermittently appear in my head, literally for a few seconds, as in 'oh yes, those people exist.' I feel somewhat guilty for that - they were such a 'present' part of my life until May this year. Now, not one of them has spoken to me, and yet I don't feel massively upset by that. Should I?

Less and less I'm finding myself worried about what they think of me. My W would have told lots of people what I did - she would have told basically all her family, probably her two best friends (which means their partners will know), and has simply been telling her work colleagues "he cheated on me". They'd all gossip with each other so they will all know now (I used to work there part-time last year too).

I was really nervous about all that but as I mentioned before, as it's all out in the open the shame is no longer there, and with it goes the secrecy. It has made moving forward and sorting myself out a lot easier, like a massive weight has been lifted (apologies for cliche phrase there).

Getting a little down about just how expensive houses are in my parents' area. Even moving a 10-20 miles out seems unachievable at the moment. Waiting for my mortgage broker to get bac kto me on what my options are. It'd be fantastic to be on the way to getting my own place next year but it seems a little out of reach.

Friends are quite busy at the mo so I cannot see them, but am talking on FB messenger to a few at least. Mum and I are going in to London today for an afternoon show; looking forward to it.

Me - 36, W - 32
No kids
T - 8 yr, M - 3 yr
Discovery - 14 May 2019
S - 25 May 2019 & D bomb - 29 July 2019
D & House sale final - Feb 2020