IMO it is because the man thinks with logic and reason. He realizes that he will lose half his assets, pay child support/alimony and share custody of the kids. Those consequences most likely keep him from leaving his W. He may only be in the A for the sex and thrill anyways.
LH, thatīs somehow what happened to me. It was not for the material possessions, I would never take anything from my family. Had to reach for a past that was hidden to me so as to see what was wrong there. My main trigger was about the protection figure. I needed to protect OW and her little S. But doing that I was leaving my W and my S. I would never do that. There was a little of logic and reason left somewhere and I used that. All the rest was WW fog and limmerence. Then you need willingness (thanks Steve). Itīs about willingness. My W was the lighthouse, I saw her light. Went to IC, asked questions about my past and found this forum. Iīm piecing since 2016.
Thatīs why I remain eternally grateful to all my DB brothers and sisters.
So youīve got some clues BB. Shine your light, detach and get into amoafwl. Be there for your kids and for yourself.
Itīs about respect. And NO FEAR to be yourself. BE that!
WW H(me): 50 W: 46 T: 26 M: 21 S: 16 Piecing since 03/2016 Saw the light in the storm