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That's why several of us suspect there's more going on here.
I've been thinking about this for a day or so. There really is no evidence that she was or is seeing someone else. She has never mentioned it, and I believe she is incapable of keeping that a secret. She says "I cannot keep any secrets. I have to tell it to someone. I can't lie." That's the remnants of guilt from her childhood religious upbringing there, and she has acknowledged that is what it is herself many times.
She has expressed annoyance that I'm too quiet and 'don't say any words'. She would not address this like DR explains - "When you don't talk to me frequently about what's going on in your life or your thoughts [etc.], I feel..." I'd just get "Why don't you speak?!" We wouldn't argue but that was because of NGS - avoiding conflict.
When I would be annoyed at her or she did something that upset me, I wouldn't call her out on it. My fault entirely - no boundaries set. This led to her friends joke that she wore the trousers and was 'in charge' of me. She didn't like that and always said we were equals. But truth is she has a very dominating personality, despite the fact that she has admitted it is a massive front because she is immensely insecure - although she only reveals this when she is extremely upset (like discovering my infidelity and online chats etc.).
This is why I'm sad that she dismissed IC for herself. I think it'd help her enormously. To clarify, I'm not suggesting it to her 24/7!
She is just a "simple soul" (her words) who "sees things straight down the middle - I tell it like it is."
I honestly cannot think of anything further that might be "going on".
Have I missed something?
Last edited by DaB35; 09/22/1910:38 AM.
Me - 36, W - 32 No kids T - 8 yr, M - 3 yr Discovery - 14 May 2019 S - 25 May 2019 & D bomb - 29 July 2019 D & House sale final - Feb 2020