Joe, Makes perfect sense focusing on the right thing helps you detach. One thing that helps me lately is the thought of my old marriage being dead and that my wife is a different person. I have also been dealing with this for 3 months and I have witnessed a lot of betrayal and disrespect. Watching her live this double life and knowing the facts has hardened my heart to some degree. Not many people stumble across the information I did. Looking back I wish I hadn't because I know everything that happened in detail.
Doubts of Recon have seriously crossed my mind and has allowed me to move forward. Knowing she would have to work in this environment for a year is something I'm not sure I can live with unless I completely detach.