I agree with Jim on the time frame of possible recon. I came to this board in Aug 2017. I DB a month before, I had, had enough of her BS. In Sept of 2017, I fully prepared myself to be divorced and moving on. So, in Sept 2017, on a night o caught my WW talking to the OM again, I told her to pack her sh!t and get the hell out. I meant it, I didn't asked her too come back, after that night, I started moving forward with my life. By the end of OCT 2017, she was texting me, calling me everyday, I would always keep it short. And then while we would be around each other she would touch me, I would just look at her, like what are you doing. If I remember correctly, on Halloween or the day before, I asked her what's is she doing, she said, "I'm working on this marriage, I don't know about you". I was like huh! Ok
But that was a two month turn around. No telling, where I would of been without, this forum and the Vets. I had AS, Sandi, TXHubby, a few others, giving me great advice.
I will add on to what the others are saying about some things that hinder progress. I really think, the most LBSs are emotionally attached to ONE outcome and that's recon. Being attached to that one outcome makes most LBS afraid to do anything to upset their Wayward spouses, but what I've noticed is once most LB detach themselves from the outcome being recon and Accept, that they can't control the outcome, they DB more effectively. Key word ACCEPT!
I sat in my car and ran every possible outcome thru my head, I cried thinking about D and S. I saw myself being Divorced and separated. It hurt, but it help me ACCEPT whatever happened from that point on.
Let go of recon and focus on DB!!!!
M:36 W:36 T:11 M:10 S16, S12, S9, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.